Toni 2013

09 Jul Toni 2013

6/6/1955: My birth: My father always said, “June 6th, D Day, you know, the beginning of the end,” the twinkle in his eye always indicated great amusement and delight associated with my arrival.

1959-1975 The backdrop of the whole story is coming of age during the Vietnam War and all its attendant conflicts, dissension, division, and watching it all on TV… 5 o’clock news, body counts, and real footage of wounded soldiers and dying “civilians.” Crazy times make good music.

September of 1960: Kindergarden: Answer: “Surgeon.” Kindergarden teacher asked, “What would you like to be when you grow up?” We had paper; we answered a few questions; I could write all my answers and I spelled it right.

Winter of 1968: Michael DeMarco
My first school dance
My first dance with Michael DeMarco (Temptations: My Girl)
My first kiss with Michael out behind the EB Newton School
Yup, all in one day.

Summer of 1970: Toni Socci: Consciousness raised: Vietnam Vet, from Winthrop, Smart, drafted after college deferment rescinded, asked me a few questions; Consciously, decided to go my own way, apart from the crowd if necessary, based upon what I think, I feel, I believe, no matter what.

1973-1977: Wellesley College: “onward and upward” I met the most brilliant, open, irreverant, opinionated, hilarious, creative old souls disguised as young lesbians and their posse. It was eye-opening, intellectually demanding, emotionally freeing…and it got me into medical school. Win: Win: Win.

1977-1983: Medical School and Residency: Routinely worked 120 hours a week. That leaves 48 hours per week for commuting, eating and sleeping…”just in case you never had to do that math.” That’s my favorite line…in case you never had to do that math.

I picture this little girl on a carousel of monsters/societal barriers, riding, maybe even jumping from monster to monster, and in the end, triumphantly grabbing the brass ring. For me, there was never a choice…do or die. Being a doctor, well it’s everything…more correctly, it WAS everything until my boys entered this world. My entire life, first, I have to be a doctor and then I have to be a mother…that’s it. Nothing else made the list (including marriage; I was prepared to be a single mom after Michael DeMarco had his first child with
his wife…I guess that’s when I accepted that he would not “come around”.

1. Doctor
2. Mother

Birth of Matt, followed by his brothers
1. Mother
2. Doctor

Medicine, for me, has been an inexplicably hostile journey in the beginning, more arduous than I imagined and for more rewarding that anyone could imagine. I found my way home earning that degree.

1983: THE DARK YEAR: Death of my Dad, my one true fan…devastating, Unwittingly, I replaced him with an evil man who would give me 3 invaluable treasures, yet would be my undoing and rob me of that dream, take the brass ring away.

I am so abivalent about even mentioning bob, because I hate him. Hating him gives him too much power, but I hate him, I do. I have many moments of pity for him, for he is truly pathetic.

November 4, 1986: Matthew Rossi Aronson arrives. He brings light back into my personal world.

March 31, 1988: Lucas Rossi Aronson arrives. Redemption.

December 31, 1992: Samuel Rossi Aronson arrives. He brings a peace with him that I had not anticipated. My life feels complete, well lived…I’m a doctor with 3 sons. What could be better?

February 2008: The MVA, The Car Crash:
Death of a life that was won with tremendous, will, effort, and passion.
Recovering has been as hard as anything I have done and as lonely as can be.

October 11, 2011: Unshackled: bob’s greed finally works in my favor.

Now: I seek a path, a way forward. It is no longer so lonely. As the haze of the last 4 + years clears, I see many who have stood by me, who will stand shoulder to shoulder with me and who will walk with me.